Over the last two years my aspirations have taken a pretty sharp turn. Where once I primarily identified as a music producer, my interest in ecology and philosophy has led me towards an increasingly multidisciplinary creative practice. I guess I might say that the weight of creative solipsism became a little unbearable, and ultimately unfulfilling, at some point in my time on this course. Dreams I’d had for quite some time started to seem less a reflection of my inner values, but more some externalised projection of what I thought would bring me praise. A constant reminder to make the ego a lesser player in my endeavours, I believe, has allowed me to surrender somewhat to a mode of creativity that feels more in service to the world around me. Synthesising a thirst for knowledge of the ecological, with my desire to manifest a personal creative aesthetic seems to be the mission I am currently on.
I am still only at the beginning of something that I hope to potentially make a life-long vocation. The pressure to acquire a ‘job that pays the bills’ looms over me, and I realise the necessity in having to partake in the capitalist game. But ultimately fulfilment for me will never come from a pay check. I’ve discovered over the course of this year, that I have some pretty strong opinions in relation to ecological philosophy and psychology. Something I thought I’d never enjoy is writing. But, dare I say it, writing has been one of my most enjoyable components of this academic year!! And its become a practice that I am normally now able to meet without internal resistance, as opposed to the creative aspect that has been a little torturous!! I find I create best from a place of intuition and needing to intellectualise every creative decision has been the source of a lot of this year’s stress. Written ideas have come to me a lot more organically. Not only that, but they have allowed me to muddle through foggy thoughts, and gain clarity on long-held opinions that I have never been able to articulate. Many of my writing ventures inadvertently end up feeling like exercises in self discovery to some extent.
Without making this blog post some long, personal journal entry, I suppose I should provide some concrete examples of my influences and aspirations. After graduating (fingers crossed) I would like to pursue opportunities that allow me to combine both musical/ soundscape composition with ecological writing. Translating more-than-human aesthetics into accessible essay writing is something I have focused on a great deal this year academically, and any residencies, or commissions that allow me to further this would be especially satisfying. I have been volunteering with Citizen Zoo, a Re-wilding initiative, for the last 2 years, and the possibility of working together creatively has arisen in conversation quite a few times in the past. I have plans to reach out to them in the summer to create a sound-map of Tolworth Court Farm Fields, an area they have ecologically restored for quite some time now. I intend for this to be featured on their website, hopefully changing people’s conception of the area, and galvanise more of them to volunteer with Citizen Zoo. I quite like the idea of working with people – whether it be workshops, collaborative compositions, or interactive experiences – a stark contrast to my previous custom as a music producer and songwriter.
While composition is still my primary medium, field recording has also become central to my developing practice. An instrumental experience in guiding my aspirations was an internship held with the conservation team at Wadhurst Park last July – August. While here, I was given full freedom to roam around 800ish acres of ecologically restored land, field recording for hours on end every day. I was given access to accommodation, TIFF maps, and even a buggy, allowing me to engage with the land in a very intimate way. This culminated in a 40 minute soundscape, a written report, and a presentation to a panel of environmental experts in London. During my time here I cultivated a rigorous field recording practice that has benefited me to this day. I made strides during this internship in my knowledge regarding soundscape ecology. Spending so much time every day listening to katydids in meadows, birdsong, and may other aspects of the park’s biophony and geophony got me thinking a lot about noise pollution as well as animal phenomenologies. While it didn’t seem clear at the time, this experience has had a huge influence on both this year’s dissertation and creative projects.
I owe, in part, my success in securing this internship to my audio paper on animal communication and acoustemology the year before. While nothing mind-blowing, the synthesis of immersive sound, ecological philosophy and animal sound-making and perception really impressed the team at Wadhurst. This audio paper was the result of a year being immersed in the works of eco-philosopher Arne Naess, biologist and writer David George Haskell, author and researcher Karen Bakker, and composer and sound-ecologist Hildegard Westerkamp. This came at a time where I’d started making a conscious decision to distance myself from a very individualistic musical practice, and is a phase which I owe a lot of my current success to. In particular, Naess’ ‘The Ecology of Wisdom’ gave me much insight that has had a profound impact on my professional trajectory. This current year has seen me extend my research into the phenomenological discipline of both Maurice Merleau-Ponty and Edmund Husserl, as well as the theories of eco-philosopher David Abram, helping me contextually ground my practice in philosophy.
As well as field recording in an ecological context, the skills I have acquired from working on film sets as sound designer, location mixer, boom operator, and composer over the last few years have given me a strong starting point from which to seek other unrelated job opportunities that might ‘pay the bills’. A friend of mine has been working on a documentary about a quarry transformed into a ecological safe haven over the last few years. Having just secured a fair amount of funding for this, he has asked me to oversee the film’s sound design and composition. What’s been on my mind for quite a while now is how I can source income doing things that are, in some shape or form, aligned with my personal values. This gig is a close example of this.
I have considered post-graduate study to allow me to further develop the academic research I have undertaken this year, but I am not entirely sure what subject area will be best to do this in. As a result I have decided to postpone this for now.